It was 4:30 in the morning, I think its a right time to write some stories. Life been so rough lately an i can't find someone to comfort me when i needed the most. Maybe all this thing happen because of me? oh... I just want my pain to end. i tired being happy and I willing to sit back and hang myself rather then having this bad emotion.

I can't sleep because i hear a voices in my head. who voices in my head? a monster? devil? or me? but its actually weirder than you think, I think I am crazy and hoping one day i can walk as a regular civilian.

I always fantasize that I have someone to love, someone can support me and someone to understand me. but maybe i wasn't born for happiness...

I hate to see my friend struggle and Its hurts me every time i think about it. i remember before we were separated by hatred towards other. "ridin' to the death" but they all just left me all alone in this big empty road... no where to go no where to hide, just plain emptiness making my heart turn cold.

Just a second i think what the point of going home if nobody is there, after everything i witness? do you really think i'm happy? nahh i don't think people will realize what i mean. sometimes i just rage and hurt people who cared about me. but don't blame me its just my evil twins. Its control me but it ain't me. just blame him my evil twins..

here come the rain drenched my pain... Its seem like no one will understand being me and go through what I have been through maybe no one has been damaged, confused, left out of the crowd, hurt even after already being hurt, been walked over, as though you’re on the edge of crumbling, etc, like i have. To make matters worse, no one is there to be my hero and save me from the pain.

Looking up in the stars, crying in silence.. I found myself thinking about cutting my wrist and playing my favourite guitar cause im so depressed...

5:30 a.m I'm finishing the last paragraph, the last that taste of feeling hopeless, worthless and loveless. heartache in my heart, rain in my eyes. suicidal stories in my blog. thinking about the date isn't that easy..